The Lowest End

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? DON'T FORGET WHERE YOU ARE!"

How could I forget where I was?

People say Beethoven described the trombone, "as if it were the voice of God Himself."
If that's so, this was the voice of the Devil. A red tunnel vibrates with bass rumbles. the paint shakes loose. The San Andreas has nothing on this.

Euphoric. Melodic. Epic.

A musical brawl that gives me a full body blow. A belly flop into an ocean of bass. Everything rumbles so hard that it makes all my hairs stand up and listen. Hot as Hell and sweat pours down my face but I don't even notice. It's a state of bliss. They are modern day Zeuses and Hephaestuses. Every turn of a knob is like a thunderbolt of pulsating air shocking my body. Every press of a button like the magnificent and awesome strike of metal on metal. My body is electrocuted into wobbles. It commands me, it compels me.

Nothing short of glorious.

Everything moves so slow but the music courses through my veins at a million miles per hour. This gas kills. The lamps burn. My ears ring so good.

-

It's a numbed red amoeba. A body made of bodies. Never together again. Nerve endings cut. Guilty black shapes that lurk. Made out of the darkest of blacks. Roaming against shimmering city views and glittering night skies. Free of chains. Hot breathes of freedom on our necks. Cool chill of morals against our skin. Smells like a cave.

Smells like summer.

Silent Eyes

I wonder if it's creepy to watch the feeds roll by as if it's the ticker tape to a some kind of social stock. Staring at the endless stream. Passing judgment as I see fit. So many things left unsaid. I can almost feel a nosebleed coming, even though I've never had a nosebleed in my life.

Life feels like a slow motion train collision. It looks so slow but you know in reality it's moving fast, and even though you don't know what the end product is going to look like, you know it's going to be a mess.

Well we'll see about that.

I don't mind too much either way. I wonder how my conscious feels, or lack thereof.

A Little Suffocating Room

Is everyone gone yet? It seemed to me that everyone just kept on moving from one thing to the other and now they've all settled elsewhere to follow the perceived emerging trends. At least now I feel like I can hear myself think. Maybe a little too well. The sounds of the low rumbling mumblings that echo between the empty spaces of my brain. Indiscernible vibrations that reverberate in the dark pits of my mind. The very corners that are hidden out of view but the knowledge of which roll through the cracks in my brain like tar leaving behind its remains everywhere.

Thinking is an insane thing. Can drive a man crazy, especially if it's all by his lonesome.

I'm not going to say that I finally understand and see everyone for who they are because I really don't. How can I when I barely understand myself? It was interesting reading on the passages on the English AP test about the world we live in and how people wear ornaments. It struck a chord with me. Chino Hills fits the bill perfectly. Trying too hard to be something better than what it actually is and just comes off as just looking like an embarrassment.

Maybe that's too harsh though. The best parts of this place are the parts that man can't do anything about. The green rolling hills and the blindingly yellow flowers that cover them in the spring time. The perfect combination of booming sunlight with the cool breeze of winter's last breathes. A humble, unassuming tree at the tops of hills. The sight of cotton ball sheep rolling lazily.

I'll miss those things. The simple ignorance and docility of the suburbs.

That's all my brain remembers to write about for now.

"What took the jam out of your donut?"

World of Awesome from John Fujita on Vimeo.

Is it 2010 yet?

The new years came and went but it hasn't felt all that special or anything to me. It hasn't felt like the holidays either. It's been just like an extended weekend and now we're back on the daily grind of school. I guess I should be sad that break is over, but for some reason I don't really care all that much. Just when I thought maybe I could stay awake in my classes all do is fall asleep or zone out. Maybe it's because we hold our finals after break and we're still in first semester, which I know has been going on for the past couple years but this year just seems like it makes everything move slower or more like it makes it seem like nothing has changed. Which for the most part I don't think has.

Didn't even watch the countdown on television or anything and instead just chilled in my room with my brother. At the turn of the decade it doesn't feel like anything more than just another day. Just wasting the days away.

It was funny practicing scales today. One of the scale's arpeggios turned into part of this season's woodwind feature. I guess that's the one thing that's been new since the new year. All that stuff just a couple months ago feels like ages ago now. That past just keeps swirling together into one big collective memory. Just one collective day.