That's my problem. Art.
Maybe I'm just not looking in the right direction. Too busy thinking of how to make it more than it is when all it needs to be is casual.
Who cares what a pompous, old critic considers brilliant?
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
The Incompetence
Today was a usual day.
Get up, school, nap, eat, work.
But in between eat and work I found something. I found my brother's old AP English work papers in a file full of random junk. So I start to read through the papers analyzing Mark Twain, some sonnets, etc. Then I come up on work that hasn't changed in 5 years: Billy Budd Quote Quiz, Mimic Writing Exercise, among others that I can't remember off the top of my head.
Something dawns on me as I read through the papers.
I am terrible at this. I read through these close reads and all I can think to myself is, "I would have never caught this!" Even on the work that we both did he got a higher score. Between never catching the things my brother caught in close reading and him getting a higher score on the same work I start to think more. He was just lazy in school and he got better marks than I did. What if he tried? Where does that leave me? I don't want to think of it as a failure on my part, but how else should I think of it? Not that I'm out to one-up him, but I can't help but think of competition.
Only left me more confused about my future.
But maybe something good will come out of it.
Or maybe I'll just never measure up.
Get up, school, nap, eat, work.
But in between eat and work I found something. I found my brother's old AP English work papers in a file full of random junk. So I start to read through the papers analyzing Mark Twain, some sonnets, etc. Then I come up on work that hasn't changed in 5 years: Billy Budd Quote Quiz, Mimic Writing Exercise, among others that I can't remember off the top of my head.
Something dawns on me as I read through the papers.
I am terrible at this. I read through these close reads and all I can think to myself is, "I would have never caught this!" Even on the work that we both did he got a higher score. Between never catching the things my brother caught in close reading and him getting a higher score on the same work I start to think more. He was just lazy in school and he got better marks than I did. What if he tried? Where does that leave me? I don't want to think of it as a failure on my part, but how else should I think of it? Not that I'm out to one-up him, but I can't help but think of competition.
Only left me more confused about my future.
But maybe something good will come out of it.
Or maybe I'll just never measure up.
Friday, January 09, 2009
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