Disappointment

So this weekend has been pretty disappointing.

Saturday wake up early and do a holiday parade, which was ok but not the way I would like to spend my Saturday mornings. Then "ghost hunting" which was anything but.

Sunday wake up around 5:30 or something to go skiing, which ended up being another disappointment. Wake up super early again only to find that the road going to Snow Summit is closed. So we went to the nearest ski resort which was Snow Valley. $90 wasted because those douches only open 3 of the lifts: bunny hill, slightly steeper bunny hill, and the snowboarders ramp shit. So we went down the slightly steeper bunny hill for 3 hours or so, which I can't even think of how that was possible now. At least if the lift went a little faster it might have been better, but no the lift takes at least 5 minutes and in less than a minute your already back at the freaking lift. On top that the lift operator acted like everyone was retarded and had t o t a l k r e a l l y s l o w to everyone because apparently he thinks no one knows how to sit on a chair. So we leave.

Dickens I don't know how he does it, but he puts me to sleep all the time. I can't get past a couple of paragraphs before I find myself asleep. Like on the way back from the mountains I'm reading it in the car and I don't even realize I'm asleep until my brother asks me what book I'm reading.

I had a weird dream though while I was asleep. I dreamt that someone was pouring me a drink and then I hear my brother ask what book I'm reading and my drink turns into books and I'm drinking it.

Anyways, I don't dig the reason why he was such a great writer. His books have tons of detail in them, but it's only because he got paid by the word. In my mind that means he wrote unnecessarily long just so he could get paid and not because it helped the story.

I think the rest of the week will be looking better though. I always thought if bad things happen to you good things have to happen in order for life to be balanced. Life is balanced if you think about it...maybe not... In any case tomorrow is another day.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving” - Albert Einstein

“Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance.” - Brian Tracy

“When a man asks himself what is meant by action he proves that he isn't a man of action. Action is a lack of balance. In order to act you must be somewhat insane. A reasonably sensible man is satisfied with thinking.” - James Arthur Brian

I suppose I'm a reasonably sensible man then......I want, nay, need to be insane.

RAIN!

RAIN! I LOVE IT!

Copying

Copying. Makes me feel stupid. I feel like I'm getting dumber from every day that passes by. I'm starting to question how much of my work is actually my work. I'm feeling like a total failure right now. Feels like I'm copying every other thing nowadays. It's not a good feeling. I wish I would stop, but my procrastinating demons won't leave me. I question how well I'll do in school. Essays? Those haven't been doing so well. When I do my own work it seems to always turn out bad. How am I supposed to take SATs like this? I don't even know anymore. Right at this moment I'm feeling the worst I've felt in a while. My chest is feels like it's on fire and choking up. I can't even write a decent essay anymore. Even this is a bunch of jumbled up sentences that hardly make much sense. This all needs to change now. Maybe this is just how things are supposed to be, but I don't know. I don't feel the sense of pride from getting my own work done anymore, it always feels like it's someone else's because it probably is. From here on out I'm changing the way I conduct things. If I don't then things will only get worse.

Weekending

Friday - Being decisive for once and made the decision to go to the Aquabats concert, which was the right choice. Yo Gabba Gabba was so awesome, Hunter Revenge was forgettable, and The Aquabats was cool. Moshing was intense and scary as all hell when I fell on the floor. Planet Terror was hilarious. Need to finish Death Proof because we had to go right at the best part. Anybody want an Aquabats sticker?

Saturday - Slept a good 12 hours then went on an adventure filled with thrills.

Sunday - Sleep, eat, lounge. Once again procrastinating....I must stop. My neck and arms are sore from who knows what. I should get a good night's sleep tonight, but who knows how that will go.

The sound of jazz flows into my room from downstairs, relaxing. Nice music to reflect to. I need to watch more movies, read more books, listen to more music, find a way to make money. I feel like destroying something...something amazing or beautiful. Or just destroying some pixels on my computer. Someone get me a beard cap, a Japanese Aquabats shirt, and a BIG messenger bag to go on my back.