It's always something you thought you
forgot about. Tucked away in the junk drawer equivalent part of your
brain. Something that you have a passing fancy for then toss away
along with everything else that you think you might have some use
later for. Sometimes you come across a word, a picture, a sound that
reminds you of that random piece of information tucked away, but you
don't do anything about it. You know it's there but what is there to
do with it?
But you never really looked at it
closely enough. The first passing fancy was just that, a passing.
Sure you noticed something about it but you're never really sure
what, just an ephemeral feeling that resonated. And now it's stuck in
your memory always there, but never really conscious of why it's
there, how it got there, or why you even hang onto it. But it stays
with you whether you want it to or not.
She was always there. Sure she wasn't
always available but she was always there. You visited her but you
weren't visiting her, you were visiting someone else. You stayed up
late with her and talked – not about her, but about someone else.
You caught glimpses of her walking around the town, you bump into
each other at a party, you share a drink, and that's it. You only
ever catch shades of her. And for some reason those vague shades of
her memories stick with you.
And in your daydreams your mind
wanders to the junk drawer where memories that you thought you forgot
come to blindside you. Like that one time where your mom was talking
to some quack doctor about how eating cold food was bad for your
body. What was up with that? And why do you remember that? And just
as suddenly as one thought enters another takes over and it's her.
What makes her come up? How is anything I was thinking about before
related to her? Nonetheless, here she is.
The more you wonder why she's here
now, the more it becomes impossible not to think about her. You
imagine what kind of person she is, how she is. How would it be if
you guys hung out more? How would it be if things got serious between
you two? Maybe you two are out somewhere alone for whatever reason,
you can't be funny on your own but she says the perfect thing for you
to have a witty comeback for that makes her laugh and think you
unbelievably clever. Your hand fits perfectly in the hold of hers.
You two come close on the moonlit pier. Or maybe it's on a high
hilltop under some stars that fly overhead. Maybe you're at a concert
together or just watching a movie. Her lips parted just so. Soft.
Moist. Waiting for yours to come together.
A low buzz and a chirp to go along with
it. It's your phone, as luck would have, coming to save you from
yourself. And you're off to somewhere with the regulars. Maybe you'll
bump into her wherever you're going though.
