Day Dreams

A drowsy zero period. Christensen's booming voice echoes through my head. My eyelids start to drop lower and lower until the whole room goes black. It only takes a second. I can still hear the sounds bouncing through my head.

I am god now. The universe a black canvas. I use my hand to summon up the debris of words and ideas into a swirling mass in the palm of my hand. From the void swirls together form. A planet. A society. Life. It all comes together, a spinning sphere smoothing itself out.

I snap awake, my head falling out of my hands. I can create life, but can't keep my head steady.

These half awake dreams in class are the only ones I seem to have anymore. Sleeping at night only lends itself to fast forward through life. These dreams I live lifetimes in a matter of seconds. I wonder why this is. Although all of them aren't so grand as creating life.

More often it seems like my subconscious is crawling through my dreams. Dreams of loss and rejection. They keep replaying through my mind, staying with me through the day like an awake nightmare. As if someone is dipping into an emotional well and pulls out a bucketful, these dreams leave me with my head hurting, my mouth dry, and my chest aching.

Another wet season in my brain seems to have come around feeding my feelings. But the well can't be full forever, it'll dry up eventually.

Maybe.